The social and moral order in talk

Imagine you are the man in the above scenario. You drive yourself nuts thinking about it and trying to understand what her running out without giving a response means....Now consider that you run into her the next day and she acts like nothing has happened. You don't know what she is thinking or why she is acting this way. You try to justify her behaviour but you just can't comprehend it and don't understand what is happening.

The above scenario is a situation in which the code has been broken. When you propose to someone you (generally) hope for a positive response but are aware the response may be negative but you do expect a response. The code states that when someone asks you a question the polite thing to do is to answer them. Especially if the person asking is someone you are close to and the question is one of importance. When you don't provide a response the code has been broken.

When a code is broken we instinctively try and justify why it was broken and why the person acted or responded the way they did. That is why you would wonder what your partner was thinking when she ran out on you without giving an answer when you proposed and why you cant comprehend her acting like nothing happened the next day. This response does not fit the rules of the code as you understand them and thus you try to explain away the behaviour but in such a complex scenario that is not always easy to do. In a sense the ability to understand and act within the social code of  a particular situation is the ability to have the appropriate social skills for the situation. Perina states that understanding and obeying the code is not a matter of ettique so much as it is a matter of how one handles social situations (Perina, 2004).

Tales of Syphonia Quote: 

Sheena: "I am Sheena! I seek a pact with Gnome. I ask that thou annulst thy pact with Mithos, and establish a new pact with me."

Gnome: "Man, you sure use some stuffy language. Bleh."

Sheena: "Uh.Well...I mean. This is how I was taught to do it." 

References:

Perina, K. (2004). Hacking the Social Code. Psychology today, p.3.